Sunday, 13 July 2014

And then nothing happened

One of the major problems with writing a blog when you have a chronic illness, is that you often have massive chunks of your life where nothing happens.
And worst still, is that you can't bring yourself to make shit up, because really your whole world has become a non-existent void. 

Sure you could attempt to educate and inform whatever passing inter-webber happens upon your page, to the daily slog of just being alive. But that is a big, and massively depressing, subject to tackle. 
Of course there are plenty of people who manage just that task, with better grace and far fewer swears than me. 

So if they can do it, why can't I?
Well you have to know one very important thing about me.
My brain is fuelled by boobs and sexually propositioning inanimate objects. Er i should say not in a weird "That guy's a pervert" kind of way, it's just how my brain gets it's giggles. 
Which means, sadly, if I'm not in the mood to make dick jokes or shamelessly flirt with a talking elevator, then my brain simply refuses to come up with anything else to say.

Over the last 2 years my health has been particularly shitty, and my brain fucked off and left me. I've been virtually housebound, my on line presence dwindled to nothingness and I became a non-person. 
Sure that's terrible and at least one person out there is going to feel bad for me, it's just the way my life has ended up. The worst part, the bit that sucks the most without a doubt, has been the lack adult humour. 

So for the love of Batman, will some-one tell me a boobie joke