Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Random Guy #3

Do you ever get the feeling your life is a movie?
Not a huge blockbuster. Not even a feel good rom-com, or big thrills action.
Nope, your movie is the dodgy one that no-one really gets. Crappy depressing story with disappointingly shitty end. You know the one, lots of hype but no-one buys the DVD.

There would only be one thing more depressing than having that film for a life, and that would be playing an extra in your own movie. All these dynamic scenes and plot twists, even though it's really hard to tell there's a plot at all, and you're at the back of the shot. No lines, just set dressing. You don't even get a name in the credits, just Random Guy #3. No past, no future, your present only serves as filler for other people's story.

It's a shitty job but someone has to do it

Monday, 6 December 2010


I was called a whore today.
Still not entirely sure how I feel about that.
In my eyes a whore is someone who sleeps around a lot, different girl every weekend kind of thing. Well that's definitely not me. I know I have a filthy perverted mind, all the best minds are, but I wouldn't have thought my actions were whore worthy.
I've only slept with people I've been in a serious relationship with, the shortest one being 3 or 4 months. I regularly spend a year or more between relationships sleeping with no-one but my monkey. Even then I have been in relationships with no sex at all. As odd as that may sound to some people, it was nice just being with some, sharing your lives and experiences. Affectionate companions more than girlfriends. Sometimes a cuddle in bed as you fall asleep is better than a shag.

I guess it's all relative though, some believe in no sex before marriage, and some (I could easily name certain friends) will bonk anything that moves. I think a whore cares about sex, while I have genuinely cared for and loved all those who have been in my life. I have been hurt by most, and unfortunately done some hurting to others, such is the way of break ups. I still care about all of them, and am truly happy for those who have moved on and found love elsewhere. Even the ones who hurt me the most, but especially the few I hurt.

So no I don't think I am a whore. I might have had a fuller sex life than some, but I don't want sex. I want love. I want to wake up next to someone who makes me smile for no reason, someone who makes life just that little bit wonderful.

My search for love continues, but I sincerely hope yours doesn't last as long. We all deserve that deep love that makes life living, don't you think?